MY STORY

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I'm Mary McElhattan — author, speaker, ordained minister, chaplain, wife, mother, Mimi (grandmother), and the founder of Permission Mission, LLC. I help families talk about something most people avoid: death.

My mission began long before I knew it would become my life’s work. In 1981, my older brother died in a motorcycle accident. We never really spoke about it — not until my father became ill two decades later. That changed everything.

When my dad got sick in 2001, he wanted to plan ahead. For three months, we had honest, beautiful, sometimes painful conversations about what he wanted. We talked about his legacy, his funeral, and the messages he wanted to leave behind. He wrote notes for his children, grandchildren, and even his great-great-grandchildren who hadn’t been born yet.

Watching a man who had spent most of his life quiet about his emotions come alive with purpose during those final months was profound. It wasn’t about dying — it was about living fully until the very end. That experience lit a fire in me.

Years later, while working for the nation’s largest pre-burial and funeral planning company, I met thousands of families — some prepared, many not — trying to make impossible decisions during unimaginable grief. I saw how much peace could come from simply having the conversation before a crisis hits.

That’s why I started Permission Mission. Through workshops, speaking. private consultations, and resources, I help families around the world open up about what’s inevitable — so they can be ready, be present, and find peace.

Normalizing conversations about mortality isn’t just about death. It’s about creating a deeper, more intentional way to live.